13 July, 2009

Controversy, interview and sun spots

It seems Blarin Horne has filed suit against himself over a slanderous remark written about himself in his unauthorized autobiography. When asked if rumors of the lawsuit were true, Blarin answered: “It’s as true as you are willing to believe.”

Among his other works, Blarin attempted to publish a coloring book for depressed adults about the life of Ernest Hemingway. But the last few pages didn’t do them any particular good.

Intrigued by Horne’s writings, Ellen Games, a graduate student at Oxford, is taking a hiatus from her summer classes to track down Horne. She hopes to write a research paper about him. Rumors of Horne’s whereabouts led her to the outskirts of Kansas City. By chance, he was one of the first people she found (advice from Horne’s old college roommate that he was “not hard to miss” proved to be true in more than one regard). When she asked Blarin why he was in the Midwestern city, Horne, looking to the sky, responded: “Dodging sunspot activity.”

Ellen soon asked Blarin about a line in his book:
“You wrote about a brief near-death experience in which you were hesitant to look at the bright light at the end of the tunnel,” she asked pointing to a highlighted line in Horne’s unnecessarily controversial book.“What made you finally decide to stare at the light?”
After a brief pause and glance at the sky, Blarin responded: “I needed to sneeze.”

Blarin’s response sounded very weak. Games looked up from her note pad. Blarin was halfway down the block.
Ellen shouted: “What are you doing way down there?”
“The sun spots are moving,” Blarin yelled back. “I’m off to Tulsa.”
She mumbled to herself: “I don’t know if I can afford this.”

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